“Lord, where would I be
without encouragers in my life?
They lift my spirits
and point me toward You!
Thank You for these special
people. And please, Father,
gift me with
encouragement, that I may offer
the same hope to
others. Amen”
– Janis Hanna
When we
think about mentors and mentoring the first thing that often comes to mind is
someone who mentors another in a career, academic area, or even a trade. But ARCM
is so much more. As Christians we have the responsibility to mentor both
Christian and non-Christian women in whatever area they may need help, support,
encouragement, or knowledge. Moreover, each Christian woman has been given not
only unique gifts or talents she can share with another, but she may have that
special knowledge or even life experience that can help someone.
You may
think that you don’t have anything that anyone would want to learn from you. I
can assure you that each of our lives is just as unique as the individuals that
we all are. In fact, it is our daily lives that have contributed to who we have
become thus far. The pages in our life story are filled with incidents of joy,
sadness, beauty and pain. Although some of our life experiences or pages within
our story may have been hard to deal with, they, nevertheless, are now part of
who we are. For instance, that woman who survived an abusive relationship has a
great deal to contribute to the mentoring of a woman that is presently being
abused. Or, as in my case, the life experience of being struck by a car while
in a crosswalk has made me the woman that I am today. Although, I wouldn't want
any woman to have to go through what I went through, I can now mentor other
women on faith in God, on dealing with constant pain, on knowledge of the
Bible, on hope, on blessings, on the Gospel message and so much more. Although
I don’t always get out and about the way many working women do, God has placed many
mentoring opportunities in front of me. I just have to be observant and listen
to God when He presents a mentee to me.
Many things,
both good and bad, that happen in our lives give us wisdom, greater faith,
greater strength and endurance, as well as empathy for others who may
experience a similar situation. Drawing upon our life experiences, we can
encourage and give mentoring support to those who are going through a similar
hard time.
Although God
does not cause terrible things to happen to us, He does use those earthly
situations and their pain to grow us and refine us so that we can become strong
individuals who love God with all our heart and soul. We have a choice, though, of how we react to
what this earthly life throws at us. We can lean upon God and grow from the
experience, or we can refuse to lean on God and become bitter and hateful for
what has happened to us.
I saw
firsthand how refusing to trust in and lean upon God can lead to bitterness and
a failure to see the possibilities in life and the potential blessings. After
six months in the hospital, I had gone through yet another surgery when one of
my nurses told me about a young lady on my floor who had been in a terrible car
accident. She, like me, had broken legs and a broken pelvis. The nurse asked if
I could write an encouraging note to the young lady, as she was constantly
whining and complaining. She was only sixteen, but I was only eighteen, so we
should have had more things in common than not. Unfortunately, our similarities
stopped with our similar medical situation.
This was my
first encounter with mentoring another person sight unseen. But, I wrote a note
and introduced myself saying that I would like to be her friend. I explained
how I was in a similar situation. I explained that life throws us unexpected curves,
but that we can face each situation head on and try to do the best that we can.
With God’s help we can overcome our problems and lead a life that can be even
greater than we ever dreamed. I also asked if we could be pen pals to encourage
and support each other.
I never
heard back from her, and the nurse told me she threw my notes away. For days, we
could all hear her strident voice of complaints up and down the hospital
corridor. As she continued to complain, she grew ever bitterer. She believed
that her life had been taken from her with the accident, even though she would heal
and walk again. Although, I never found out how her life turned out, I knew
that if she didn't change her attitude of self-pity and victimization that she
was going to have a rough time throughout life. I hope someone was able to
speak into her life and mentor her.
This
situation was where I learned that the things that happen to us in life can be
used to help, encourage and support other people. Although this young lady did
not take my help, I knew that I had done the right thing. I also knew that I
could not let the rejection from one person keep me from trying to help others
when I could. So, I continued to use my life to help others deal with both
physical and emotional pain, to gain knowledge from the Bible, and to deal with
problems in life. As Christians our lives are to be lived for Christ. Christ
helped many people in all walks of life with all kinds of problems. As His
followers we are to do the same. We can help other women through Active
Relational Christian Mentoring (ARCM).
It means
nothing if we just say that we have faith in Christ, but then we do not show
our faith by adhering to Christ’s teachings. James, the brother of Jesus, said
that it is through our Christian works that we show that we have faith in
Christ. James says, “What use is it, my brethren, if someone says
he has faith but he has no works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or
sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to
them, ‘Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,’ and yet you do not give them what
is necessary for their body, what use is that? Even so faith, if it has no
works, is dead, being by itself. …I will show you my faith by my works.” -- (James 2: 14-18).
Certainly we
have to first have faith in Christ to believe and receive Salvation. But, as Christians
we have to use our faith to engage in works that show our faith and help others.
Although James gave us the example of giving food and clothing, there are many
other ways that we can show our faith through our works. ARCM is a way that
Christian women can be there for other women; showing our faith and trust in Christ
as we mentor. Whether her need is emotional, physical as in needing food and
clothing, or simply the need to acquire a skill or develop a talent, we can be
there to help, encourage or empower her. We can also be there for her spiritual
need. We can be there to help a non-Christian understand the Gospel message or
to help a Christian develop even greater faith in and understanding of God.
God places
each Christian woman in the path of other women: some who may need help with a
problem, whether emotional, spiritual or physical; some who may need help in
learning a skill; or some who need help or support in learning to use their
gifting. Other women may need just a kind word or listening ear. Still others may
need to hear the Good News of Christ. As Christian mentors we can be there for
these women, one person at a time. We can reach out with love; seeing beyond
our own problems to the needs of other women. We can use our life experiences to encourage and
support women who are in similar situations to what we have experienced. You
can be that Christian woman who speaks into the life of another woman. You can
mentor her for the Lord!
“I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever;
with my mouth I will make known
thy faithfulness to all generations.”
– Psalm 89: 1 KJV
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