Being Authentic and Real in Christian Mentoring

Mentors should be authentic and real. What does that mean? Well, when we try to be something that we aren't, we are not authentic or real. For example, I can pretend to know a great deal about the Internet, but if someone starts questioning me, they will quickly learn that I know only the basics about the Internet. I have not been authentic or real with them. Suddenly, I have lost all credibility with the people around me. To maintain our credibility, we must be authentic and real in all aspects of our life, including the most basic part of our life, which is our rebirth as a Christian.

When I believed on Christ and repented of my sins, I was "re-born". Christ changed my heart and soul, and the Holy Spirit came to live inside me. It is true what Jesus told Nicodemus, the Pharisee: “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the Kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be amazed that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ “ – (John 3: 5-7 NASB). So, when a woman believes and repents of her sins, she is "reborn", and the Holy Spirit comes to live inside of her helping to change her into the person that she was meant to be: one who loves God and loves others as she loves herself. She still has free will and can do what she wants to do, but there is a desire in her to do that which is right and true before the eyes of God. Unfortunately, we live in a world that is influenced by darkness and evil. So we have to work at not letting the world influence us negatively. We have to strive to be an authentic Christian.

As a new person, “reborn” through the grace and mercy of God, we are to be authentic and real in our new life. The Apostle Paul said, “… I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” – (Romans 12: 1-2. NASB). In our rebirth, we must renew our minds by studying the Word of God and praying. We also renew our minds and hearts by living daily for Christ and doing that which is true and good.

The Apostle Paul went on to explain what this transformation into a new life and the renewing of our minds will look like. He said, “Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil, cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints (other Christians), practicing hospitality. Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind with one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, … Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”  -- (Romans 12: 9-20. NASB).

I know this was a long section of Scripture, but we need to understand what an authentic and real Christian should look like before we mentor another woman in Christ-like living. For how can we mentor another unless we are truly an authentic and real Christian? Oh sure, like secular mentors, we can mentor any subject for which we have knowledge to share. But ARCM is first and foremost about being an authentic Christian. The subject matter or skill that we have to share is secondary. Moreover, in order to engage in ARCM, we first have to develop a godly relationship with another woman. For, if our life-style and our behaviors do not reflect well on Christ, we cannot be that Christian role-model or example that the other woman needs.

If, after reading this, you realize that you have not been “reborn”, and you are not truly “Saved”, don’t be embarrassed. But do take immediate action to profess your belief in Jesus Christ, the virgin born and resurrected Son of God. As you repent of your sins, ask Christ to forgive your sins. Then ask Christ to come into your heart. These are not just spoken words, but truly a heartfelt desire to live everyday for Christ. Until the last breath, it is never too late to be “Saved”.  However, if you are indeed a “reborn” Christian, look at your life in light of the above Scriptures and ask yourself if you are indeed living as an authentic Christian. For, you can only have positive influence on another Christian by being truly authentic. We must also be authentic with non-Christian women too. For, if our actions and inactions as well as our words do not agree with what we profess to be, we will never have any positive influence on another woman. So do a little introspection of your life. Look at the way you live and act. What do you think that other people would see in your life? Would they see Christ in your life? Active Relational Christian Mentoring requires authenticity and realness! You can do it!